


Stay Together For the Kids

by nucodiangelo



Category: That '70s Show, Zenmasters - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Late Night Conversations, Steven Hyde - Freeform, Teen Romance, That 70s Show - Freeform, jackie burkhart - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 05:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16927509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nucodiangelo/pseuds/nucodiangelo
Summary: “Sometimes I feel like there’s a parent shaped hole in my chest.” [...] “Like there’s a huge mom shaped hole in my heart and a huge dad shaped hole in my lungs, and like everything I’ve tried to fill them with is clattering around beneath my ribs, poking and slicing and just taking up all the space.”Or - alternative summer romance





	Stay Together For the Kids

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning: mentions of abusive parents and alcoholism
> 
> set somewhere between season 3 to season 5 - maybe my take on how they get together?

Jackie wakes up from a bad dream to stare at Donna’s closet door. There’s a crack in the top left corner, and a paint chip right above one of the posters. Jackie tries to turn, but the cot creaks, and Donna mumbles something in her sleep, and Jackie’s miserable.

A few hours ago, in the basement, Eric had made a sharp comment about Jackie’s dad, and Jackie couldn’t stop thinking about it. Eric was an asshole, but he was right. That was the worst part of it. Everyone’s negative thoughts and opinions about Jackie and her family were right. They were rich and greedy and selfish and unhappy. Jackie’s mom hadn’t been sober for months, and her dad had started getting physical in his anger and Jackie had been spending more nights at Donna’s than she had in her own bed.

She rubs angry tears out of her eyes and turns to get her stuffed unicorn out of her bag. It’s silly, for a seventeen year old to keep a stuffed animal. But in a unhappy home filled with affairs and alcohol and loneliness, there was a part of Jackie that had to grow up too fast, and a part that never got to grow up at all. In the darkness her hand searches for her second bag containing magazines and board games, but comes up empty, and in a state of slight panic she remembers leaving it in the basement.

For a few seconds she just lays very still, slightly afraid to close her eyes in case she’s met with images of the dream she had been having, and then she lets out a frustrated groan. Donna mumbles something impossible to catch in her sleep, as if agreeing. Jackie feels hollow and angry, and knows she won’t be able to fall back asleep without her stuffed unicorn. So she gets up from the cot with as little noise as possible, slips on her fuzzy slippers over cold feet and stumbles down the hallway in the darkness.

The cold winter air sneaks its way up get nightgown and chills her to the core as soon as she steps outside, and snow hits the back of her bare heels. She regrets not bringing a jacket, or putting on pants, as she dashes around the house and through the Pinciotti’s garden, into the Forman’s driveway. For a second, she stops, and realizes the basement door might be locked, and she considers just turning around, but then the wind picks up and freezes the tears on her face, and a bit more determined, she skips down the basement stairs.

She doesn’t expect to hear music from inside, and as she opens the door into the darkness, she thinks maybe the boys forgot to turn off the record player before they went to bed. She silently closes the door behind her and looks around the room for her bag. When her eyes adjust to the light, she jumps back when she sees someone sitting on the couch. She can’t make out a face, but there’s light streaming down from the kitchen, making a silhouette around the person, revealing a halo of curly hair.

“Steven.” She wheezed, clutching her chest. Her hand moves to the wall next to her, looking for the switch, and the light blinds her for a few seconds.

“What the hell, Jackie?” Hyde whispers back, but there’s no bite to the curse word, and when she’s finally able to see again, she sees the red ring around his eyes and paleness to his skin. He looks like he’s coming down from a bad trip. He’s also shirtless.

Jackie’s mind goes blank for a few seconds as she stares at pale skin stretched over a defined, and bit hairy, chest. His shoulders are muscular and broad, and her throat goes a little dry, and then very moist.

“Sorry!” She whispers, a little embarrassed.

His gaze moves from her face down her body, and his cheeks colour slightly as he stares at the exposed skin below her nightgown.

She feels her own face heat up as she tugs the hems of the gown further down her thighs and curses herself for not covering up better.

“Why are you breaking in, naked, in the middle of the night?” Hyde asks, this time a bit more amused, and Jackie grabs the blanket from Fez’s chair to wrap around her.

Once only her head is showing, she scowls at him, “I forgot one of my overnight bags. I’m sleeping at Donnas.”

He rubs a hand over his face, and then runs it through his hair. It makes the skin of his torso pull deliciously over a lean stomach, exposing a jutting hip bone and a dark happy trail. Jackie feels like she’s burning up, even though her slippers are soaked and cold from the snow. She can’t even imagine what she herself looks like with her bare face and undone hair.

“Again?” He asks, and it takes her a few moments to remember what he’s asking about, and then she feels herself blush again, but this time in sad embarrassment.

“What do you mean again?” She mumbles, and then, because she’s starting to shake, slips out of her slippers and waddles over to the chair to sit down.

“Haven’t you been over there all week?”

She’s both embarrassed and flattered that he’s noticed.

“Yeah… Donna isn’t a terrible host, and it’s better than sleeping alone in my big house.” She tucks her hair behind her ears, and notice how Hyde’s eyes follow the movement.

“Why are you alone?” There’s something in his tone, and the slow tune of some Led Zeppelin song in the background makes her feel awfully small. Her ears feels warm, and her chest feels like it’s being stepped on.

“None of your business.” She whispers, a little fiercly, and then feels bad when she sees the look on his face.

“Whatever.” He mumbles, leaning back into the couch, eyes a little heavy lidded and mouth in a hard line, and Jackie gets the sudden urge to punch him right in his stupid sad face.

“My parents haven’t been home for a while.” She says then, without planning to.

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t look at her, just nods his head, making his curls bounce, and chews on his bottom lip.

And that’s when Jackie knows why he’s awake listening to Stairway to Heaven.

“Sometimes I feel like there’s a parent shaped hole in my chest.” As soon as she says it, Hyde’s chest rises like he’s taken a deep breathe, and he holds it for a long time. It comes out as a sigh. “Like there’s a huge mom shaped hole in my heart and a huge dad shaped hole in my lungs, and like everything I’ve tried to fill them with is clattering around beneath my ribs, poking and slicing and just taking up all the space.”

“Yeah.” He mutters, eyes unfocused, staring straight at the black screen of the TV.

“Sometimes I think it’s worse… Having parents that don’t love you in your life, than not having parents at all.”

He looks at her then, eyes going soft, but mouth still hard and angry, “Your parents love you Jackie.”

Jackie feels her own anger pull at her heart, but stays calm, “Not in the way that matters. I think they love me in that maternal way that all parents love their children. In that animal way… In the way that I am theirs. But they aren’t mine.” She doesn’t even think she makes sense at this point.

“I don’t think my parents ever loved me. I don’t think I was ever theirs.” Hyde mumbles, and it’s barely noticeable, but Jackie catches it and then wishes she didn’t because it’s so heavy.

“That can’t be true.” The softness of her voice catches her off-guard, but seems to bounce right of Hyde’s armor.

There’s humor in his eyes then, and his face looks almost sinister, “You don’t put your hands on someone you love. It just doesn’t work that way. You can’t possibly love someone and still want to hurt them. Love is selfless and pure. I just… I don’t believe in it.”

“Love?”

Jackie feels the blanket fall from her shoulders as she instinctively lean towards him. His eyes fall to the exposed skin.

“No… I mean yes. I mean I don’t know.” He runs a hand over his face again, “I mean I love the guys, I love the Foreman’s, I love Donna, I love… I mean I don’t believe my parents ever had love for me.”

Jackie ignores the fact that she wasn’t mentioned, although it pushes against her chest, “Your parents hit you?” The words feel heavy leaving her lips, and she watches them hit against Hyde’s bare chest. Can physically see how they affect him.

He doesn’t reply, just stares at his lap.

Jackie ponders for a few seconds, then stands up and moves to sit in the cold space beside him. Her forearm meets his and she sits down, and he’s as cold as a corpse. She starts to drape the blanket over his shoulders, but he softly pushes her hands away, and his eyes seem even sadder than before. 

“I don’t need your pity.”

She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, you’re not gonna get it either.”

He obviously didn’t expect that, turning towards her with wide eyes and slack jaw, “Well ok then.” He nods.

Jackie twirls a thread from the blanket nervously around her finger, staring at a chip in her nail polish, and she thinks that if she doesn’t say it now she’ll never be able to, “My dad hit me once.” It’s the first time she’s ever told anyone. Her chest feels like it’s being squeezed out of air, and her heart beats so furiously against her ribs she’s afraid she’s having a heart attack.

“Shit.” Hyde says next to her, and his thigh is shaking against Jackie’s. She wonders why he’s angry.

“It wasn’t a big deal… I kept pushing him and he was tired after a long business trip. I should have just stopped –“

Hyde grabs her hand to stop her from twirling the thread anymore, but doesn’t let it go again, and stares at her with wild eyes.

“Don’t say that.” Jackie feels a lump in her throat, “Don’t ever… Jackie…” He sounds out of breath, and Jackie’s tears fall before she can stop them, and she feels so silly. “I can’t believe he laid his hands on you…” Then his hand is on her cheek, thumb stroking away a tear and Jackie leans into him without thinking and for a second she think she’s gonna kiss him, but then it doesn’t feel right, and she lets her head fall against his cold shoulder.

Hyde chuckles, “You know… The first time we met, back in junior high… I knew.”

Jackie grabs his upper arm with her burning hand, trying to warm him, “What do you mean?”

“I think damaged kids always know. We can seek each other out in crowds. It’s just like… There was this look to your eye, and I knew that your entire snobby bossy act was just that… An act.”

Jackie snorts, feeling her eyebrows narrow in the middle, “You’re saying you never find me bossy and annoying?”

“Oh, I do. I just know it isn’t all real. Having no control in your own home, where you’re supposed to be safe… Well I just figure you want to control the other aspects of your life, and I understand that.”

Jackie smiles, “Does that mean your brooding and tough stoner act is also not all real?”

Hyde stiffens under her, but then lets his shoulders fall again with a huff, “No… I mean of course there’s more to me than weed and self-deprecating humor. But… I just think I am very very damaged.” He rubs his palm over the hair on his chest, and Jackie can’t help but stare, “Like if there was a scale, I’d break it.”

“It’s not a competition…” Jackie mumbles, sitting up again to stare at him. His skin is so pale in the yellow light, and there’s sweat against his hairline. There’s a hardness to his mouth she doesn’t like.

He cocks his head to the side and gives her a shy smile, “Feels like it though, don’t it? When your life sucks and you’re feeling bad… Feels like you have it worse in the world.”

Jackie nods, because yeah, yeah that’s true.

“And then I feel so fucking selfish because I know that’s not true. There’s worse things in life than having daddy issues.”

“And mommy issues.” Jackie chimes in, without thinking, but Hyde laughs and points a shaky finger at her.

“Yeah.” He smiles, but it doesn’t meet his eyes.

Then there’s silence again, and Jackie realizes she hasn’t let go of Hyde’s arm. She’s sort of cradling it, and it’s hot to the touch now, as if the blush across his shoulders has spread down to his fingertips.

“It sometimes feels like you’re the only person in the world who’d ever understand me.” Jackie whispers, regarding her eyes to stare at Hyde’s thigh.

He huffs, “We haven’t really spoken about this before now?”

“Yeah.” She agrees, “But as you said, damaged kids just know…” She feels her cheeks and ears burning, “Back when Michael and I were together, when he first told me about your parents, I just felt this incredible relief. I knew you hated me and found me insufferable, and I felt the same back, but there was this incredible comfort in knowing that someone else in my close circle just… knew.”

Hyde doesn’t reply, but she sees him nod.

“So why are you up?” He asks after a few minutes, and she glances at him again. He looks softer now, not so hard around the edges, and he looks sleepy.

“Parent shaped holes were making it hard to breathe… Haunting my dreams.” She tucks her hair behind her ears and stare at him beneath her lashes, and he seems lost for a few seconds.

“But why are you here?” For a second Jackie feels embarrassed, wonders if he’s judging her or pushing her away, but he smiles warmly at her, and all her doubt melts away.

“Was too scared to go back to sleep.” She answers honestly, and he nods again, gritting his teeth together.

“Well if you…” He coughs, runs long fingers through messy curls, “I’m about to pass out, but going back to sleep isn’t really tempting… Do you wanna…. Do you wanna stay?”

Jackie’s heart swells, and for the first time since she woke, breathing isn’t too hard.

“With you?”

Hyde’s cheeks are rosy and his smile is shy and nervous, and Jackie wishes she had kissed him earlier.

“Yeah.”

And Jackie can't find it in herself to say no.


End file.
